Chord The Referees Alphabet by Half Man Half Biscuit

this one’s just the same 3 chords played over and over again , execept the D which is occasionaly slide up from A D flat chord it just an extra detail that i haven transcribed , i’m just saying incase your wondering , it doesn’t make the utmost of differances great and very almost too underratted band and one of their greatest songs note : the chord placings are approximate so are probably in the wrong place , but it’s easy enough to guess them as long as you know the chords intros just the same chords for the verses : D , G , A D the a is for my authority G which many players seem to question , A thinking they’re somehow going to make me change my mind D B is for babies G which a lot of managers cry like A after a decision has not gone their way D G C is for the continual criticism i recieve from the touchline A get back in your technical area! D D is for the dunderheads G who seem to think we have a conspiracy A against their particular team D E is for the eery silence that echoes around the ground G after i’ve booked the home teams player A and it’s obvious to everyone that he deserved it D F is the farce into which most games would descend if we werent there G the G is for the gnarled face of someone whos on 90 , 000 a week A and reckoned he should have had a throw in D h is for handball G which has to be intentional and very rarely is A if only people would study the rules more D i is for innocence , pleaded by many a doe - eyed defender G after they’ve just scythed down that tricky winger A j is for ju - jitsu , which i quite intend to display given a dark alley D and some of the narky blerts ive encountered G k is for the kissing of the badge A how ridiculous that looks 6 months later when they’re at another club D G l is for lip reading , at which you don’t need to be an expert A to see how odious some people are D m is for the mistakes we sometimes make G A surely a bit of controversy is part of the games appeal D G the n , the n is for the numbskull who during the boxing day game A asks me what else i got for christmas besides my whistle D an afternoon with your wife mate D the o is for offside G A which many forwards tell me they simply could not have been D the p is for the penalty shootout G A great drama and no pressure on me D q is the quiet word i sometimes need to have G with some of the more fiery participants A i usually choose the word ’pleat’ D r is for running backwards G A a difficult skill which the pundits never seem to appreciate D G s is for the suggestion that i should have awarded a card of some sort A to a player whos just been awarded a free kick mute the strings and strum sorry i got all that wrong the s again D okay the s , the s is the suggestion that i should show a card to an opponent G by a player whos been awarded a free kick A he himself is more in danger of getting one for that D t is for the 21 man brawl G A whiuch is basically an embarrassing scene of pushing and shoving D u is for the umpire which i sometimes wish i’d been instead G A you never hear a cricket crowd shouting whos the bastard in the hat D G the v is for vitriol vilification vendetta and volley of verbal abuse A some good bird noises there by the way D w is for walter pidgeon G whos mr griffiths in ’how green was my valley’ A i may have started to sound like during this song D ’where was the light i thought to see in your eye’ G A he says that to a young huw played by roddy mcdowall D the xg the x represents the sarcastic kiss planted on my forehead by the swarthy A potugese center half whom i just dismissed D the y is for yate G A the kind of town referees come from D and the z G A well the z could be for zidane , zico , zola , zubizaretta , zoff even zondervan D but is in fact for the zest with which we approach our work G without this zest for the game we wouldn’t become refs A and without refs , well zero D see also zatopek , zeus G and zeal monachorum D i have a caravan there G static naturally A D etc . . . wouldnt it be fun if the gave the ref a gun contiune the "d G a" until the end although , if your like me when it comes to the end you just press play and start it all again